Linda Lovelace Lyrics
Well, I've @#&^ 'em all from Coast to Coast... Well you can talk about your lovers and your back door pimps. You can talk about your Hollywood @#&^ . If you want to know the baddest @#&^  in the world then I'm the greatest lover alive, Jackie Onassis was a snuff queen for me before she ever got rich. And it would take a man a day and a half just to satisfy that @#&^ . Why the Queen of England gave me the keys to the whole @#&^  Country of France, And it only took me 15 minutes to get into her @#&^ . Well, I've @#&^  them all from Coast to Coast, cause honey, that's my bag. Fact, I'm the only guy in the world who can make Linda Lovelace Gag, doot doot doot duh. Now it ain't that my @#&^ 's so @#&^  big, it's just that I know how to use it. I'll never let no nickel-dime @#&^  ever get the chance to abuse it. They can @#&^  it for hours and hours on end, but I'll still be in control. And I won't @#&^  'til I want to @#&^ , cause that's my jelly-roll. Now they're ain't no woman, no match for me, I've had them try to wear me down. I've @#&^  them barmaids, and bank clerks, I even @#&^  a circus clown. Teachers and Lawyers doctors and more, them fat women sure are a drag, I tell you I'm the only @#&^  in the world that can make Linda Lovelace gag. Well, old Harry Reams fall apart at the seams when he saw me @#&^  that @#&^ . She sucked my @#&^  and swallowed my @#&^ , and I still hollered for more. She @#&^  my @#&^ , she @#&^  my toes, she's the @#&^  alive. I made her call up two more @#&^ , and friend that at no jive. She don't give me no @#&^  about being no big time lover. Some movie star with a jag. Cause you ain't shit... If you can't get Linda Lovelace to gag. And don't talk about being no full-time lover, cause mister, that's my bag. I'm the only @#&^  in the damn world that can make Linda Lovelace gag. doot doot doot

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